Many Firsts

Adessa is experiencing her firsts in everything, of course, as she is so recently on the planet. Her first time to Trader Joes, first time to the beach, first bath, we went on like that for her first few days. Now its bigger events, and we had a few last week up in Tahoe. It was her first big road trip (she did great, slept most of the time in the car), her first vacation, her first toe-dip into chilly Lake Tahoe (she didn't like it), her first foot-dip into warm sand(she wasn't sure about it), and her first family reunion (she benefited from many aunts and uncles to hold her and tell her she's cute). It was great fun, and I'll get pics up and running soon.

Adessa is now five weeks old, and it's flown by as everyone has promised. Truly precious, all-consuming, annointed time. We were definitely thrown much more into the present moment than we were used to, good place to be. And in five weeks she's changing so much already. She is much less of a bundle of reflexes and more of a focused, kicking, cooing, (still eating/pooping/sleeping) aware baby. Here's a list of developments--
Adessa:
*has started to enjoy her mobile;
*makes satisfied sighs after eating;
*kicks her legs and waves her arms, definitely favoring the left side in a toe-tapping, fiddle playing way--if you squint and imagine her with a baby violin, she looks like a bluegrass gal giving a concert;
*makes sustained eye contact with brow-furrowing, (she's serious about studying us and her world);
*sleeps in three hour chunks (we're quite accustomed to sleep deprivation and existing in a land of unfinished sentences and evening grouchiness);
and finally,
*she's growing a ton, she's already almost 11 pounds and outgrowing her
cute, pink clothing.

Babys don't seem too complex, and the directions of care are pretty straightforward so far: feed, change, bathe, hold, rock, repeat. So its exciting to think that, so far, we're probably doing a nice job of this parenting business. I doubt Adessa has anything so far that would qualify her for therapy. Yet. So far, we are all fresh and eager, Calvin, Adessa, and I. We are still trying our hardest. It feels like we are on each on stage for the others, or maybe just for ourselves: "In this scene, Keidi and Calvin will be playing loving parents. Calvin will say funny things to Adessa to make Keidi laugh, and then all will gaze lovingly at each other." So far, so good.

Baptizm and Chrismation

Adessa Faye and her cousin, Noah Samuel, were baptized and chrismated into the Orthodox Church on Sunday, July 1st (Grandma Beck's birthday). Their grandpa, Fr. Andrew, officiated, and Romina is her godmother. Noah and Adessa did great! It was amazing to pray through the service with our daughter and nephew in mind, prayers for their whole lives. The service is pretty comprehensive-- covers all traps and travails a kid could fall into, and spells out exactly what parents wish for their kids-- intentions in prayer format presented to God. I cried throughout, thinking about how absolutely not-in-charge I am, (thank goodness, really) and how the very most important thing for Adessa is her link to God. Lord, have mercy!

Dropping Letters, or, How We Came Upon Her Name.

There were distinct evolutions in choosing a name for our baby, especially when we found out it was going to be a girl. We went through the Bible, the saints, baby name books, daytime television, etc. and nothing was really jumping out at us. Calvin's family offered up the name
"Hadessah", as one of his nieces was studying the story of Esther in a Bible class. Hadessah (sometimes spelled Hedassah, or Hadassah) is Hebrew for Esther. Esther, throwing a twist into the whole name business, is Persian for Star. Adessa, then, is Lewis for Hadessah, as we played around with the hs and finally got rid of them altogether. So Adessa it is, and we'll tell her... what we just told you. She'll always have a topic of conversation when meeting people, she can weave the same convoluted story of its origin for them, or just tell people her parents created it from thin air. Hopefully she'll appreciate her name: that she is named for a strong, beautiful queen who was courageous in the face of death and saved her people. Pretty good!

*A note on her middle name* Faye, Adessa's middle name, is also Calvin's mom's middle name. We liked Faye, liked the ring to "Adessa Faye" and like to honor Edna Faye Lewis!

A little update: Today Adessa is two weeks old. She is still a pretty peaceful, calm baby. She eats well, sleeps a lot in 2-3 hour bursts, makes faces we think are so cute, and is terrifically photogenic. I'm starting to feel a lot more recovered and slightly more rested, and can get a little more done around the house. Calvin is wonderful. He is room-service, my personal assistant, the maid and butler, baby belch initiator and diaper engineer all in one.

Figuring out our little stranger.

As the midwife handed me the baby, I thought to myself: "Okay, here we go. Hi, stranger." Hello brand new being, tiny human, latest creature on the planet: who will you be? Hence began the process of learning about Adessa, and figuring out what it would mean to be her mom and dad. Wow! It means all the universal things you hear from other parents: the eat-poop-sleep cycle, staring at her for hours even when she's sleeping, and feeling sleep deprived and slightly loopy.

For Adessa specifically, it means noticing things about her... When she's awake she likes to study our eyebrows, that seems to be where she focuses. She's developing more of an entitelment for food, what they call a "baracuda feeder"--she gets right down to the serious business of eating. The other day we woke up from a nap and she was already awake, looking around and sucking on her hand, hadn't made a peep. She is sweet! She loves skin-to-skin time, and will really look up at us and connect, so cute. She doesn't like sponge baths or getting her clothes changed.
So far no big discipline issues, no talking back, just sweet baby goodness. She is a bit of a bed wetter, though, but we'll give her a few years. Just kidding. Adessa is great!

She's here!!

We welcomed Adessa Faye into our arms on June 12th, at 10:06 am. What a moment! What a series of moments, really, starting with some "intense sensations that I had to pay all my attention to." (That's the current recommended way to view of what would otherwise be called PAIN.) She was eight pounds and 20.5 inches long. Everything went really well, with lots of support from my mom, sister, and mother-in-law. And Calvin, of course, who was an amazing support and coach. The miracle of life proved itself to be just that, a miracle. We are so thankful, and keep wondering how to justify the process of childbirth without God. He has been so evident to us!

Adessa is a cutie! She isn't fussy, eats well, and is a soft, gurgly bundle of sweetness. But then, let me show you... Here she is!

Adessa Premiers...?

Baby Adessa is due on Saturday, June 9th. Today is Wednesday, the 6th, an auspicious day, full of good fortune and a perfectly good time for her to make her debut. I believed-- even convinced myself and others-- that she would come at least a week early, as all my mom's babys were early. Being so close to her due date is feeling late. I have moments of anxiousness, where I think of all the reasons it would have been nice to already have her...labor would be done, the great unknown of concentration and discomfort. Having her in my arms would be done, another great unknown, of intensity and discovery. She would have a jump on the summer! Her birthday would be during the school year so I could bring cupcakes to her class. Taking so many sick days off of workbefore she came would be validated, instead of me sitting around looking at baby stuff and crossing things-to-do off of to-do lists. The basement is organized, mailing labels are ready to send off for birth announcements, even her diaper bag is packed for a first outing, complete with extra clothes, socks, a hat... I am ready!

Wait. Is this waiting because I'm not ready? Do I need to make a new list? Bake something else? Wash something I've forgotten about? Write another thank-you card? Perhaps she is taking her time because she is brewing a bit longer, steeping in the warm familiarity of my belly. Do my hormones need to align at exactly the right time, I am waiting with the cosmos for a perfect degree of ripeness? Is waiting a way to make me eager for the deep shift that laboring a baby into the world is going to be in my life? Do I need more time to practice my breathing, to watch how-to videos on diaper changing and baby bathing? Maybe I need to gain a deeper understanding of the concept of patience.

I have a feeling--not such a great feeling for a semi-control freak-- that this waiting is a part of the big lesson of parenting. The life lesson I'm going to learn throughout this whole parenting process, that no matter how much I plan and prepare, I am not in control. Is that it? That with all my wishes and intentions to parent my very best, to pay close attention to my kids and be available to them while garnering their independence and sense of self, I cannot say what the final outcome will be? Okay. Then if I accept that fact, that I'm not in charge and have no control, if I quickly learn the lesson that I cannot will or wish things into being, then will she come?