The entire photo shoot below was trying to showcase the braids the girls have been asking for. They look so much like little girls when they have braids in, I love it.
Eliana is changing so much, it's so fun. She uses big words now, most of the time correctly, and is very frank. She'll say: "Please go away, I don't want you to see that I am wiping the furniture with baby wipes." or, "Please go away, I don't want you to see that I'm picking my nose." She is very joyful and seems uncomplicated (after Adessa?) She does get fussy, but it all feels more benign than the fussiness did with Adessa. Eliana wants to do whatever Adessa does, loves to make us laugh, and is snugly and affectionate. She does not like to clean up after herself, no sir, and it takes a lot of cajoling to get her not to drop whatever she's done with wherever she happens to be. Her stuttering is almost completely gone, and has been for months but I forgot to record it in here. What a relief, it was just a stage. She has cute voices she does to make us laugh, though, like her mommy voice: "I'll be the mommy, and you be the sweetie, okay?" which is high and whispy, and her make believe voice, which is... also high and whispy. All punctuated by her ever-present lisp.
I just had to fill in Adessa's Kindergarten paperwork. Very exciting. She's convinced it will be just like her preschool, which worries me a bit, but we have all summer to prepare her for the change. Part of the application was a series of questions about the student for the teacher to get to know a little bit about them, some background. "Is there anything we should know about your child?" Ha! I left that one blank. Another one asked for a description of the child's personality. There were so many things I was tempted to write. I settled on "Bright, Curious, Selective, Creative, Strong, Earnest." There are many other things she often is, too, charming, delightful, humorous, pleasant, joyful, excited, silly, etc. But she isn't those things consistently for me at home. I know her behavior is much better at school, which is fine with me. I refrained from writing down: moody, competitive, feisty, angry/easily frustrated, persnickety to distraction, stubborn.
As baby number three approaches (I'm 32 weeks right now), I worry about the permanent damage I may have done to Adessa the first year of Eliana's life. I'm picturing myself bathing in patience in anticipation of a new little one. I'm going to drench myself in patience and understanding, so I don't take my frustrations out on the girls like I fear I did with Adessa. Adessa is getting a handle on herself and her outbursts much better these days, and we've really cracked down on whining, freak outs, and bad-attitude behaviors. But, I watch her and feel such deep regret. She has serious rage, as I seriously raged at her when she wouldn't let me put Eliana down to sleep, or didn't otherwise cooperate when I needed her to. I'm sure she had tendencies toward persnicketiness as part of her personality, but I guess I'll never know how I exacerbated her inner angers. It makes me feel like just weeping. And how do I undo it for her, or help her undo it? Ach.
