Growing Girls

It is with so much joy and sadness that I see my girls growing up. There are days where I feel I barely touch Adessa, and have to make a point to hold her. She doesn't need me very much, which is so nice on some levels and... so heart-wrenching on other levels. Inevitable, I know, but still! It does go by so fast. And I am unsure of the future: will we get along? Will they confide in me? Will they want me around, not just to take them places? Will we successfully navigate the sometimes choppy waters of mother-daughter relationships? Because I know that now, they are still mostly "mine". I can do very little wrong in their minds, I am just their mom. Our uncomplicated relationship involves yelling, scolding, and crying followed instantly by hugs and laughter. Ach.

Adessa has started telling jokes, most of which make little sense but are greatly amusing to her. She is helpful and has greatly reduced her fit throwing, which is so wonderful, a welcome break before Eliana takes up the banner for terrible two's and fit throwers everywhere.

In another facet of growing up, Eliana is finding her will. The purely sweet, amiable, darling girl is not always there. Sometimes a back-arching, non-complying, No-shouting, Mine-grabbing Eliana takes over. Ohhh. So soon. I did enjoy every day when she was just sweet, and the sweet girl is there often, but... she's got to grow into herself, too, and being ornery is part of it. I keep thinking, how will I bear it, when they are grown, when they aren't exactly like this? And in the next breath I am waiting for the day where I have my life "back to myself." and they can get themselves in and out of the car, make their own breakfast, do everything related to the bathroom all on their own, etc. Stay present, Keidi! Just stay present and smile into their eyes every day.

For Gerilyn

Adessa

Candlelight dinner!?! We don't eat candles!

Lest I Forget:

Christmas at home, first thing in the morning.


Christmas at Grandma and Grandpa Beck's house, with aunts, uncles, and cousins, second thing in the morning.


Christmas at Grandma and Grandpa Lewis's house, with cousins, Christmas afternoon.


Christmas 2010 was magical, dreamy, wonderful. If I never have another so good, it will be okay; I believe the high from this one will carry me through. On the other hand, if Christmas with kids is this fun, the holiday may just always be this great. I have always loved things like parades and kids' plays and recitals, so maybe I'm just going to reallllly really love each and every holiday with my kids.**

Calvin has been home, the girls are on an upswing of internal balance and equilibrium, and it was sooooo fun to be with them for the Christmas festivies. We went back and forth between my family and Calvin's family, lots of cousins, lots of attention, lots of fun.

I have loved my first week off from work. Its been amazing time with the girls--that's all that's different--time. Time to stop and work on things that have bothered me about the dynamics between them before, but that I bulldoze over in the frantic pace of regular life. When they've squabbled this week, we've stopped and talked about it, and practiced "learning" how to communicate or treat each other better. I'm not even mean about it, I'm using words like, "learning": "That's okay, Adessa, because you're learning not to grab." I'm relaxed, I'm going to bed early, I'm reading for fun... somebody pinch me. While I know the whole gushing goodwill thing can't last forever, it sure is nice when it comes around and settles for a while.


On Christmas Eve, our local fire station sends Santa out on top of a fire truck. He calls to the kids "Ho Ho Ho" and hands out candy canes. Adessa was invited to climb right up the back of the truck and sit on his lap, which she did, something she has been very clear about not wanting to do before. He asked her what she wanted for Christmas and she told him: "A present." Good girl! When we were safely back on the ground, again, she exclaimed: "Mommy, I didn't know Santa was real!" the opposite of what most other kids eventually discover. (We've been talking about how some people believe in him, but at our house we know that Mommy and Daddy give the presents.)

** An Aside: I talked with coworker who has three teenaged kids. She said she had to make them get the tree with her, and all they want for Christmas is money, so sitting around opening presents isn't that much fun. Wow. That gave me pause, as I hope for magic and traditions every Christmas. We have the church events, which help and will always be age appropriate as our kids grow up, but... I wonder... how else will we keep the miracle of Christmas feeling miraculous? Please leave a comment if you have suggestions for us! Recommendations for my future self, when the kids are older: *holiday volunteering, *baking together, *creative gifts instead of bought ones, or second hand only Christmases, *drawing names, *Mt. Hermon events, *...?

Lewis Christmas Letter, 2010

O Christmas Tree! And functioning fire place!

Dear Friends and Family,
Christ is Born! Glorify Him! Our 2010 has been full of new things. New words, feats, and milestones for Adessa and Eliana, new lessons in parenting and life for Calvin and I, and... drum roll please... a dishwasher! A most welcomed novelty to our house, installed during our kitchen and bath remodel this summer.

Calvin is now working at the San Jose office, again. He is looking forward to eight-hour shifts starting in April, instead of 12 hours out on the road. Eight hour work days will give him more time to exercise, relax, and spend time with us everyday throughout the week, instead of just on his days off. Calvin also toiled long hours this year researching for our remodel. He is now an expert on appliances, fixtures, and every other facet of quality homebuilding, if you ever need advice or resources. He's better than Consumer Reports, I promise!

My part time teaching job has been a bit more hectic and stressful this year, which took a while to get used to. It is unusual for homeschool education to get stressful, historically, but tension is right on target with the current academic climate in California. I still love working with homeschoolers, though, and prefer it to other types of teaching. My mom's group is going strong, and has been so helpful in maintaining my sanity as I parent. Our church has bunches of babies right now, too, so the families with young kids are banding together and working to support each other, as well.

Adessa is charming and strong. She's spirited, and entertaining, sweet, feisty, creative, clever, and loving. She calls stockings "Bean stocks" for some reason, which Calvin won't let me correct. As in: "My bean stock is full, Mama!" Adessa started pre-school this year, (new and wonderful-she loves it), and performed as an angel in the Christmas pageant. It has been a most marvelous thing this Christmas season to watch as she begins to grasp the Christmas story. We have a nativity scene Advent calendar, a new tradition this year that is a morning ritual that both girls look forward to. We've been going through the story of Jesus' birth each day, as we add sheep, angles, wise men, and shepherds to our magnetic calendar. Holidays with kids are meaningful in a whole new way, and their excitement is contagious.
Adessa as a Christmas angel.

Eliana is 19 months old and at such a fun age. She is acquiring new vocabulary every day, her latest words are: angel, again, and soup. She's into climbing, running, galloping, jumping, dancing, and snuggling. She is delightful, still easy to engage and distract, and lots and lots of fun. Eliana loves her big sister soooo much, and wants to wrestle, hug, tickle, pull, push, and hang on Adessa. Eliana has learned to guard her belongings, though, as she learns about personal possessions. Adessa will be napping, and while Eliana plays by herself we'll hear her voice in the other room, shouting: "MINE!"
Cheeeeese!

Adessa and Eliana will occupy themselves quite happily for long periods of time, playing together. Its what we dreamed about, and it's happening, and "heartwarming" barely does it justice.
Eliana submits to a special hairdo, courtesy of stylist Adessa.

Shopping is fun (and easy for mom) when they've got carts.

We wish you a holiday season of all good things, and a happy, healthy New Year!
Love, Calvin, Keidi, Adessa, and Eliana!

What Adessa's Learning in Preschool

Fall, 2010

Our yearly documentation of fall. We missed this lovely little tree in its full glory of orange and yellow, but were determined to keep the tradition alive, by hook or by crook. Continuity makes me happy.


2009,

2008

2007