Fall Photos (Finally)

All of us girls got to go on Adessa's field trip to Gizdich Ranch, in Watsonville.

Changing the fish's water (twice a year, wether it needs it or not).

Our annual trip to the Rodoni Pumpkin farm. We went on the blusteriest, most dust-stinging, wind whirling day, and lasted a brave half-hour. We got all the requisite photo ops, though!

Annea can't even fake smile. This was right before our dash to the car and they were wind blown, to say the least.

I had Calvin take this picture so I'd remember how small she was in my arms. Awwww.

Some years we get close to bare branches with my attempt to yearly take a picture with this tree in glorious fall color, but this year we absolutely missed the optimal day/week. I insisted we take a picture, regardless. We are a year older, we are experiencing autumn, and just because fall has fallen as far as the tree goes, the tradition continues!

Fall has Fallen!

Instead of every two weeks, maybe I'll try posting twice a month. I'll get busy to do two posts for October. What has happened?
Enjoy these fall photos, before reading about my ongoing parenting freak out.

Fall Harvest Festival at church (so fun!)

Four is a hard year. I thought it was just Adessa, but let me remember for Annea: four is hard. Let it be noted! Maybe because four year olds can do so much, there are whole other sets of boundaries to push? That seems to be true for us. Eliana is testing the boundaries, doing exactly what we say she can do, sneakily or otherwise. And Eliana has difficulty in such loud ways, so very loud and sad. She cries and is admirably persistent in her determination to cry, no matter what, even if the solution to her problem arises or the sorting out has happened. She feels so wronged and self conscious, I think, that she just keeps finding things to cry about. She's also lovely and loving, gives great hugs and kisses, and has a pretty developed sense of humor. I've been making her homework sheets (matching, rhyming, counting) so that she can do her homework while Adessa does. She loves homework. :)

Adessa... loses focus in the mornings, that's for sure. It's unbelievable to me the things I find her spending time on when she's supposed to be getting ready. Looking under the bed with a flashlight for a penny she dropped weeks ago, things like that. She loves her first grade, but is already not liking homework (there seems to be a lot!). She gets pretty grouchy these days, without a nap, which makes homework extra hard. She drew this little "poem", which her classmates and teacher liked. She was proud.

Annea is 18 month on October 29th. So full of words and fun, and contributing a tremendous screech to the ruckus of daily life. When she doesn't have the words and isn't getting her needs communicated, there's a serious screech to contend with. She has a "bad" face, too, when she pulls hair or hits (not often), but it cracks us up, you know she's going to be bad. She scowls and grimaces and then hits or pulls hair. She is echoing our words and saying her own, probably 35 or more words (I haven't sat down and counted).

I feel like I've been yelling for months. Maybe I've been yelling for years. I've been going to bed earlier, which helps greatly. But I have so little patience, somehow, even when I'm intending to be patient. So that's frustrating. As are mornings, trying to get out of the house. And anything else requiring getting someone under seven to listen to me. Mothering is superhuman. Parenting is. Age of correction, I get it, just I'm going to create these little uptight freaks kind of like me. They may feel like they never do anything right. And still, at the end of the day they hug and kiss me and want to snuggle. So that's good, since all day I can't imagine wanting to be close to someone like me. My apologies always turn into a preaching session about why I yelled, which doesn't a sincere apology make. I like to ask things one time. I think I'm batting about 20% with obedience. Achild of mine doing the thing I ask the first time happens barely one out of five times, through my whole parenting career, and still I somehow expect it and am pipe-y when it doesn't happen. So there I am, hard on these sweet little girls who are hungry or tired or sticky, or whiney for some other very good reason, surely. And they are sweet. So precious and actually well behaved most of the time, and sometimes they do listen, and don't get waylaid while intending to brush their hair with two minutes before we need to leave because they are singing a song into the hairbrush. I see now how that could be slightly endearing, at least when reading about it, but when it's the eighth time I've asked and while the hair isn't brushed, neither are the teeth, neither is said singer wearing any shoes or a sweater, neither is her backpack ready for the day. It gets personal, my yelling, I mean. There are questions proposed about sweet singer's abilities to function in society, there's some incredulous shaming. "Surely you are not singing into the mirror right now!? What are you doing!? What's wrong with you? What are you thinking is about to happen, when we pile in the car and you are not ready!!??" I don't call names, but my tone is derogatory, to be sure.

So, there it is. I have work to do. And amongst the disappointment in myself and the shortness with my kids, I am reminding myself all the time to be thankful for this life, it really is just what I wanted. And I don't need to be convinced to be thankful, I am! I just need reminding.

September Happenings

Most important: Adessa lost her top front tooth. This is her third tooth to fall out, but has the greatest visual impact so far, which she wasn't sure about. And... my children believe wholeheartedly in the Tooth Fairy. My parents didn't believe in lying to your kids, especially if you were going to try to teach them about God, an invisible guy with powers, and have to break it to them later that the invisible and powerful Tooth Fairy isn't real. This is a dilemma for me, as I don't know how it's going to play out. As of now, we believe in One Tooth Fairy, as well as One God. Could be trouble later.

Popsicles!! Jen, Dad's nanny, always has us over for dinner--so nice. Here's dessert! Annea's first popsicle. She knows when something is a big deal, and squeals, and chatters, and smiles so big. Her popsicle was a Big Deal! Though she's giving her camera smile, here.

Here's her normal, lovely smile:

Rainbow Day at Adessa's class. Fun for all the girls.

On my days off with Eliana and Annea, while Adessa's at school, we do fun outings (a little bit) and get errands run (a lot). We visited our neighbor and the girls babysitter, Alisa, while Adessa was at school the other day. Alisa gave Eliana a pretty seashell that she had been playing with. Eliana asked thoughtfully if Alisa had a shell for Adessa, too, which she did, and which I thought was very nice of her. She held the two shells in her hand and said that she would let Adessa choose which shell she wanted. We encouraged her to chose, told her it was okay for her to decide which one she wanted since Adessa wasn't there and Adessa gets to choose lots and lots of things (almost everything, really). Eliana pointed to the one she liked better, the pinker shell, and then sadly and seriously chose the other one, since she thought Adessa would like the pinker shell better, too. We tried to talk her out of it, and eventually did, but it was super enlightening about their relationship. Eliana went back and forth about how she was going to present the shell to Adessa, without giving up the pink one that she liked the best. I watched carefully when Adessa got home, and was presented with her new shell. Her first reaction was to ask Eliana if she had gotten one, too, and where was it. Adessa held the two up next to each other in evaluation and began a wailing and crying fit, asking why she didn't get to choose, why did Eliana get the better one, she's going to throw the shell away, etc. etc. Woah. I found it all very interesting, and am adding it to the conversation that Calvin and I have been having about how to raise happy, thankful kids who aren't entitled. It appears we have our work cut out for us.

Early morning wake-up sweetness.

Shopping! Annea insists, at tremendous volumes, that she do whatever the big girls are doing. We thought we had it covered by letting them each push their own mini-cart, but she kept crying her frustration until we figured out that if she wasn't in the front of the line of mini-carts, she thought the big girls had her cart and that was NOT okay.

Every few weeks I take whichever girls are around and we feed our bread crusts and heels to Uncle Ben's chickens. It makes me feel slightly better about the fact that nobody in our house eats bread crusts or heels (except me, but I don't the bread that the girls and Calvin eat). So the chickens feast and we throw bits of bread to them, and tromp around the farm, and everybody wins.