Spring Break

I meant to write immediately after spring break, as I was awash with love for my girls and the wonderful week we spent hanging out together. It seemed the few days after, when we were back to the grind, the magic wore off a little bit and the memory of the feeling remained, but... the feeling was dimmed, perhaps due to being back to the grind, places to be, homework to do, etc. But we did have such a lovely week, I was enamored of my girls, and it felt like falling in love again. Part of it was having a moment to sit and be with them, we had no big plans, and they are at ages that are delightful. We also have been having conversations, Calvin and I, about how good our girls are. That they know we are there for them, and they respond to our guidance (most of the time), and they are disciplined and well behaved, and all without spanking or even time outs. Hopefully this trend continues!! I will work to make it so!

Adessa is much more flexible and understanding about when things don't go exactly her way. She is helpful and caring, and eager to please, hopefully in a healthy way. My friend told me that at age six or seven, kids start being "on our team". Adessa is on our side, now. She knows how things work in our family. She can see what needs to be done and volunteer to help. Especially when she has had a nap (yes, still!), she is cheerful and pleasant. She can do so much now, but understands the limits of what she is supposed to do and not supposed to do. (As opposed to four years old, the age that I have been finding the hardest, where being able to do things (open the fridge, climb on the counter, move furniture, etc.) and knowing what's allowable don't always connect and correspond in the four year old's brain. Frustrating for mom!) The first day of spring break, Adessa went to a birthday party for a girl in her class, but had to get a ride there because Calvin was doing overtime and it was nap time. He got home in time for me to drive out to the party and be there for the last 40 minutes and take her home. She was so happy. She wasn't expecting me, and she had resigned herself to being taken care of by our carpool buddies, but it was better for her when I was there. It was a little lesson for me, I was glad I made the effort. I want to make the effort for my girls!

Eliana is growing out of her four year old self (see above) and into her five year old self, her birthday is coming right up. She sometimes has lots of emotions and we are working on helping her identify them and feel them (that's the hardest part for me) before moving on to solutions. She is sometimes at odds with Annea, which was a terrible shock, and she and Adessa have moments of discord, also. Mostly I just try to hold her and take deep breaths and listen to her, because it's gotta be hard in the middle. She loves to dance, and to turn up or turn on our music. We call her the DJ. It often takes me a minute to register that our music is blasting, and I always know who is responsible. She loves to laugh and be tickled and tell long stories with many gestures and facial expressions. She loves her preschool and is also looking forward to Kindergarten in the fall.

Annea is talking and singing up a storm. She gets frustrated when we can't understand her words, or sometimes starts with screaming for what she wants and then will get around to the words when encouraged. She is funny and engaging, our obvious extrovert. It is with bittersweet joy that I think about her growing up so quickly and being our last one. I have resolved to get my face off of screens more, as the need to constantly be reading, searching, posting, surfing can't possibly help with the years going by too fast, and childhoods being over in a blink of an eye. Since my mom's death I feel like every place in the house where I might ever want to land for a moment has something distracting for me to do, Suduku, iPad, iPhone, magazine, book. I have some good books to read, too, but they are not electronic and I haven't gravitated toward them, and real books are easier to put down, somehow. Something to work on, for sure!

The first day of spring break our friend and godson Alex was here, and we took a trip to the Seymore Center, basically just your friendly neighborhood aquarium. We all had a great time, as there were exciting creatures to see and touch, and the weather outside was wild and invigorating.

We got to meet up with the old gang, my mom's group, which was so great. We don't see them much but they are dear to me.

I heard voices coming from the girls room early one morning, and went in to find Adessa reading to Eliana with her flashlight. Cute!!

The last weekend of spring break was a Lenten Retreat, a great speaker our church had two years ago (I blogged about it!), George Papageorge. He was wonderful again, talking about if we want our church, our home, our marriage to be a "museum" (cold, sterile, beautiful, on display, perfect looking) or a "hospital" (for healing, safe, messy, truth telling, problem solving, dealing with reality, nonjudgmental, compassionate, etc.) It was so great. The big deal that I got out of hearing him was how to have a "hospital" home, with parents as Emotion Coaches (not dismissing their feelings), looking at mistakes as opportunities to learn, empathizing, connecting with our kids, and having their back. Making the extra effort. I want to do it!!