Yummy

Last night I was holding Adessa after feeding her, right before bed. She was dozzing, and I rocked her and kissed her and nuzzled her, and it made me feel two things so strongly- 1. overwhelmed with love for her bitsy, soft, baby-ness, and amazed that I get to love her from so close; and 2. desirous of kalamata olives, maybe with some chopped cucumber, tomato, and red onion. That's because our Adessa is a feta-factory. She industriously produces what smells like feta cheese, with nothing more than breastmilk, and within the confines of her very own tiny crevices and crannies (neck, armpit, ears, hands, etc.) Premium cheese. (They do very expensive things with bat guano, maybe someone should look into the market for breastmilk cheese?) I took her to the doctor for her 2-month well-baby check, and he told me, very helpfullly, after looking at her neck: "You know you can clean this out?" Yes, thank you. Note to self: bathe baby before next doctor's visit. He's not such a fan of Greek salad, apparently. OPA!

She's two months old (officially, now,) (and nine weeks). She's awake and aware more often, and I've a feeling that I could really do something wrong, now, as a parent. She always is looking at me, watching me, sometimes it creeps me out. Does she need more stimulation? Less? Is it okay that she likes her baby swing? Is her head going to be flattened? I think it's the beginning of normal mommy guilt, but again, new territory for me.

She smiles, she tracks toys, she's found her fists. She'll stick her tiny tounge out if I stick mine out. We know so little about her, really. What her hair color will end up being, will she ever outgrow her mullet? Eye color, talents, interests, good singing voice or not, good teeth-- it's all to be revealed.
She's the strong, silent type, so far, mystery is part of her allure. Parents are like undercover cops, I think, trying to bait their kids into giving something away, detectives on an 18 year stake-out. Waiting is most of our job at this point, with plenty of photodocumentation for analysis back at the lab.

Eight weeks old!

Adessa will be eight weeks old tomorrow (Tuesday, August 7th). Oddly, she won't be two months old until August 12, but who's counting? (Me, over and over, and I'm confused about how old she is.) At any rate, she's growning and developing and cooing and SMILING!! That's a lot of fun -- she will be coaxed into a smile by our energetic and overanimated smiling and baby talking sessions, or sometimes I'll catch her smiling at me when I happen to glance over at her. Totally melts my heart. I've loved our girl from the beginning, but lately have had the sensation of falling in love. This relationship is a process, and it is soooo cool to be a part of. We definitely decided right, having a kid is great. And yes, I can already imagine the next one (couldn't during labor, but now I already miss her first few weeks.) I keep thinking about moms and daughters, parents and children, how the potential is there for joy and also pain. Yikes.

We've seen lots of family and friends this summer who vacation in the Santa Cruz area. Calvin's family reuned (reunioned? reunited?) in Mt. Hermon for the past two weeks, so Adessa met lots of her cousins, second cousins, aunts and uncles. She did a great job being passed around- she was more relaxed about it than I was. The "mother-bear" imagery is making a lot of sense to me now, new emotions that come with the territory.

I've started taking Adessa to mommy groups in Santa Cruz run by nurses and lactation specialists. Its been fun to field the challenges of baby care with other new moms and trained professionals. Best, though, are my friend Sarah with her six month old, Sadie, and my cousin Annabelle and her five month old, Henry. They are full of helpful hints and encouragement and baby playtime fun. Annabelle and Henry came with us to the Mt. Hermon pool for Adessa and Henry's first dip. It was a little overwhelming, very bright, loud and splashy, and Adessa... didn't like it. Darn. She didn't like her first bath, though, and now enjoys them, so there's hope.

Calvin misses Adessa during the day now that he's back at work, and swears she grows and changes from morning to night. It has to be possible, as she is different every day. Quite a journey!

Many Firsts

Adessa is experiencing her firsts in everything, of course, as she is so recently on the planet. Her first time to Trader Joes, first time to the beach, first bath, we went on like that for her first few days. Now its bigger events, and we had a few last week up in Tahoe. It was her first big road trip (she did great, slept most of the time in the car), her first vacation, her first toe-dip into chilly Lake Tahoe (she didn't like it), her first foot-dip into warm sand(she wasn't sure about it), and her first family reunion (she benefited from many aunts and uncles to hold her and tell her she's cute). It was great fun, and I'll get pics up and running soon.

Adessa is now five weeks old, and it's flown by as everyone has promised. Truly precious, all-consuming, annointed time. We were definitely thrown much more into the present moment than we were used to, good place to be. And in five weeks she's changing so much already. She is much less of a bundle of reflexes and more of a focused, kicking, cooing, (still eating/pooping/sleeping) aware baby. Here's a list of developments--
Adessa:
*has started to enjoy her mobile;
*makes satisfied sighs after eating;
*kicks her legs and waves her arms, definitely favoring the left side in a toe-tapping, fiddle playing way--if you squint and imagine her with a baby violin, she looks like a bluegrass gal giving a concert;
*makes sustained eye contact with brow-furrowing, (she's serious about studying us and her world);
*sleeps in three hour chunks (we're quite accustomed to sleep deprivation and existing in a land of unfinished sentences and evening grouchiness);
and finally,
*she's growing a ton, she's already almost 11 pounds and outgrowing her
cute, pink clothing.

Babys don't seem too complex, and the directions of care are pretty straightforward so far: feed, change, bathe, hold, rock, repeat. So its exciting to think that, so far, we're probably doing a nice job of this parenting business. I doubt Adessa has anything so far that would qualify her for therapy. Yet. So far, we are all fresh and eager, Calvin, Adessa, and I. We are still trying our hardest. It feels like we are on each on stage for the others, or maybe just for ourselves: "In this scene, Keidi and Calvin will be playing loving parents. Calvin will say funny things to Adessa to make Keidi laugh, and then all will gaze lovingly at each other." So far, so good.

Baptizm and Chrismation

Adessa Faye and her cousin, Noah Samuel, were baptized and chrismated into the Orthodox Church on Sunday, July 1st (Grandma Beck's birthday). Their grandpa, Fr. Andrew, officiated, and Romina is her godmother. Noah and Adessa did great! It was amazing to pray through the service with our daughter and nephew in mind, prayers for their whole lives. The service is pretty comprehensive-- covers all traps and travails a kid could fall into, and spells out exactly what parents wish for their kids-- intentions in prayer format presented to God. I cried throughout, thinking about how absolutely not-in-charge I am, (thank goodness, really) and how the very most important thing for Adessa is her link to God. Lord, have mercy!

Dropping Letters, or, How We Came Upon Her Name.

There were distinct evolutions in choosing a name for our baby, especially when we found out it was going to be a girl. We went through the Bible, the saints, baby name books, daytime television, etc. and nothing was really jumping out at us. Calvin's family offered up the name
"Hadessah", as one of his nieces was studying the story of Esther in a Bible class. Hadessah (sometimes spelled Hedassah, or Hadassah) is Hebrew for Esther. Esther, throwing a twist into the whole name business, is Persian for Star. Adessa, then, is Lewis for Hadessah, as we played around with the hs and finally got rid of them altogether. So Adessa it is, and we'll tell her... what we just told you. She'll always have a topic of conversation when meeting people, she can weave the same convoluted story of its origin for them, or just tell people her parents created it from thin air. Hopefully she'll appreciate her name: that she is named for a strong, beautiful queen who was courageous in the face of death and saved her people. Pretty good!

*A note on her middle name* Faye, Adessa's middle name, is also Calvin's mom's middle name. We liked Faye, liked the ring to "Adessa Faye" and like to honor Edna Faye Lewis!

A little update: Today Adessa is two weeks old. She is still a pretty peaceful, calm baby. She eats well, sleeps a lot in 2-3 hour bursts, makes faces we think are so cute, and is terrifically photogenic. I'm starting to feel a lot more recovered and slightly more rested, and can get a little more done around the house. Calvin is wonderful. He is room-service, my personal assistant, the maid and butler, baby belch initiator and diaper engineer all in one.

Figuring out our little stranger.

As the midwife handed me the baby, I thought to myself: "Okay, here we go. Hi, stranger." Hello brand new being, tiny human, latest creature on the planet: who will you be? Hence began the process of learning about Adessa, and figuring out what it would mean to be her mom and dad. Wow! It means all the universal things you hear from other parents: the eat-poop-sleep cycle, staring at her for hours even when she's sleeping, and feeling sleep deprived and slightly loopy.

For Adessa specifically, it means noticing things about her... When she's awake she likes to study our eyebrows, that seems to be where she focuses. She's developing more of an entitelment for food, what they call a "baracuda feeder"--she gets right down to the serious business of eating. The other day we woke up from a nap and she was already awake, looking around and sucking on her hand, hadn't made a peep. She is sweet! She loves skin-to-skin time, and will really look up at us and connect, so cute. She doesn't like sponge baths or getting her clothes changed.
So far no big discipline issues, no talking back, just sweet baby goodness. She is a bit of a bed wetter, though, but we'll give her a few years. Just kidding. Adessa is great!

She's here!!

We welcomed Adessa Faye into our arms on June 12th, at 10:06 am. What a moment! What a series of moments, really, starting with some "intense sensations that I had to pay all my attention to." (That's the current recommended way to view of what would otherwise be called PAIN.) She was eight pounds and 20.5 inches long. Everything went really well, with lots of support from my mom, sister, and mother-in-law. And Calvin, of course, who was an amazing support and coach. The miracle of life proved itself to be just that, a miracle. We are so thankful, and keep wondering how to justify the process of childbirth without God. He has been so evident to us!

Adessa is a cutie! She isn't fussy, eats well, and is a soft, gurgly bundle of sweetness. But then, let me show you... Here she is!