Movin' and Shakin'

So what if Adessa's just moving backwards and shaking her hands around a lot? She's a mover and a shaker these days! Adessa scoots backwards into and under things, has started trying to pull herself up to standing, and twists her wrists like a flamenco dancer when she's excited. The wrist wriggling is her trademark. With her arms out or flapping, she twists faster the more excited she is. When music comes on or she hears singing (or even a phone ring), Adessa will bounce her head and shoulders-- early dancing! No white-man's overbite to report, yet. She is also turning into a dedicated waver, waving indescriminately but with great technique. She has a whole host of facial expressions--new ones pop onto her face all the time-- and still is very, very smiley. She has a lot to talk about, too. When she wakes up, she starts softly with "Bwah, bwah" sounds. She gets loud when chewing on things, (still only two teeth, though,) more like: "Aaa Aaaagghhhhhhhh AAaaaa AAAAaaa AAAAgh". She seems most talkative in quiet places, like church. I'm pretty sure nobody minds, though. Because she's darn cute.

Days will go by where I get used to having her around, and then it will dawn again: this precious, sweet, tiny person is part of me, is partly mine. Oh my goodness. What lovely wake up calls. Her little dimpled hands are mine to kiss. When she is sad she wants me. Calvin and I know her best in all the world. It is such an amazing, marvelous thing--to parent, to be a family, to watch her from so close.

Loving Adessa so much and seeing her change and grow and develop into her personality have brought up a new emotion for me, one I was kind of late in naming. It is fear. I have voiced fears, of course, about her falling off the changing table, or not getting enough to eat in a certain sitting, or being too cold. But I've also noticed some new fears. I suddenly understand the horror of kidnapping in a whole different way. Car accidents and potential disasters run through my over-grown imagination. Some of my fears I can directly relate to movies, like worrying about her getting stalked, or tortured, or having bad experiences in a war, or even teased. It seems like I let my mind meander just a little too long down the path of sadness and fright with each scenario I allowed myself. The last straw was when I had all the emotions involved as if she had been bitten by a robot bug and taken over by an evil machine/alien. That's when I knew it was getting a little out of hand. A friend has noticed that when kids reach about two years old, moms go through a stage of being really worried about what if they, the parent, were to die and leave the little toddler without a mom. Maybe I'm reaching one of those parenting stages, where we ward off the horrible possibilities by imagining them and standing up to the boogey man by shaking the ideas off one by one. Who knows. Not sure how my theory stands up next to Christian theology, I just know any fear is a good reminder to turn and pray and trust.

The Update

More than once I've caught myself visiting this blog to see if anyone had updated it... nope! Again, the same old post. I guess its time to update it, as that would be me, the updater.

All's well. Calvin had a two week training for work up in Folsom, and Adessa and I went to visit him last weekend to break up two weeks without Daddy! Calvin couldn't believe how much Adessa changed, mostly she's been working on growing hair, and has finally sprouted two shiny little teeth. We had a great time, eating out and walking around, and we visited friends and family in the Sacramento area. It was lovely.

Adessa is scooting around, not crawling but ooching and scooching all over the place. She has developed quite a belly laugh, which normally surfaces when her tummy is getting tickled or attacked with kisses. Today, I heard her laughing when I wasn't around, though, she was cracking herself up! I'd give more than a penny to know her thoughts. She leans in for kisses, open mouthed and slobbery, she makes lots of sounds and sound combos, the latest was nah-nah-nah, bringing to mind all kinds of fun songs to sing. She's starting to enjoy her play dates more, and likes to pet the other kids: she's very gentle with them.

I had a funny thought the other day. There's so much that I love about Adessa. Hey, (I thought,) there isn't much I don't love about Adessa. It made me kind of sad, as I'm sure there will be times when I am not so enamored of every single thing about her, as she tests us and becomes her own tiny person. I know I'll still love her, and maybe feel I love her completely, but it might not be in the same way. Interesting.

Christmas, 2007. Hello ,2008

Okay, so it's been a while. I'd like to tell you that I was so busy writing a Christmas letter that I just couldn't update the blog. But I didn't do that, either. I've been playing with Adessa.

At her six month appointment, her doctor told us to watch carefully, as six months is the blasting off point. She's just been getting ready, now's when she really becomes herself and starts learning so much. Blast off! It's so cute to watch her: eating solid foods, playing peek-a-boo, bath time, playing with other babies in the mom's group, scooting backwards on her tummy, etc. I took her swimming (yes, we're crazy- the pool was warm, but outdoors was cold!)and she loved it. She flailed her arms, splashing away, and then tried to drink the water.

Christmas was great fun, with a little family time before the big celebration at my parents. Adessa seemed to like the Christmas music and lights, and especially the tissue paper that presents were wrapped in.

Our Felton Mom's group got together for New Years, with daddies this time. We did the New Years party a bit differently, though: we counted down with cake and champagne, all at 7:00. Then we took our babies home and put them to bed. I remember hearing fireworks at midnight, but rolled over and went back to sleep.

The best part of the whole season (besides Jesus being born, of course) was getting two weeks off of work and being with Adessa all day everyday. Some days we were both very glad to see Daddy get home from work and give me a break, but it was a precious time, overall. I tried to sort out her naps and sleeping schedules, and had a small degree of success. That's okay, we're all rested enough and doing well. Blasting off!

The Six Month Mark Approacheth

On December 12, she'll have graced us with her existance for six whole months. Every time I pick her up, kiss her, or even hear her cry, I think about her sweet little baby self and feel so thankful. I think this is one way having kids helps you get closer to God. Experiencing love, amazement, and breath-catching, heart-stopping wonder is truly divine. It lifts me up. It keeps me in the present moment. It keeps me grateful. It keeps me humble. I love it! I am so amazed and present and grateful and humbled by this whole wonderful, heart-stopping, breath-catching, parenting thing!

I'm also thankful for the many people who are so helpful to us as we try our hand at parenting, they're like the bumpers in our parenting bowling lane. That seemed a good way to describe them, but now I'm not sure where to go with the bowling comparison. Our parents and friends and new parent friends are all so great to bounce ideas and problems off of. They keep us from rolling into the gutter, and bounce us into the lane and help us get a strike!? Well, you get the idea. They're great. There's a group of San Lorenzo Valley moms who get together weekly or more. We have a hangout and eat afternoon, where the babies loll around on the floor or crawl all over each other, and then we try to go hiking together,too. It is turning into a great support, and the best part is, all the other moms are okay with talking about babies and baby stuff for hours on end.

Adessa has tried a few new foods, and is getting stronger at sitting up. She's increasingly adept with her hands, passing toys back and forth, grabbing at our food, glasses, jewlery, pens, you name it. She strokes my hand while she nurses, even in the middle of the night. She talks, drones and "Ehhhh"s, shrieks and screams, trying out the gamut of vocalizations. She's so very fun.

Major Holiday Number Two

Thanksgiving went well, her second big holiday if you don't count the 4th of July or Labor Day. We celebrated twice, early with Calvin's family, then on the day with mine. Both were pretty low key, just some delicious food, aunts and uncles (Elijah played a large part)and cousins, and friends from church.

Adessa didn't feast on Thanksgiving day, but she did try out some rice cereal a few days later. And she loves food. We started feeding her solids because she's terribly interested in food, especially what we're eating, and because... drum roll... she's sitting up! For minutes at time, our girl sits up, reaches for toys in front of her, totters a bit, rights herself, keeps sitting. Each sitting session has ended with a face plant into the floor, but she is not discouraged! Oh no, not Adessa, she try, tries again. So fun. I'm getting kind of freaked out by the milestones, as the baby part is just starting to make sense, soon I'll have to pack food for her, she'll crawl, she'll talk back, YIKES!

A side benefit to babies, though- today she got me out of jury duty. Jury duty is something I believe in absolutely, as part of our democratic process. I feel deeply my responsibility to my fellow Americans. However, I pleaded hardship as fast as I could and got out of the court room towing my breast pump! It never hurts to bring props, right? Yipee!!

Happy Halloween, now it's almost Thanksgiving?

The first few weeks with Adessa seemed to go by pretty slowly, actually. We were present, right there in each and every moment, marveling, and it seemed to take... a few weeks. And we continue to marvel at her, but darn! does the time fly by! She turned five months old yesterday. Wait! Am I getting this? I try to quiz myself and see if I remember the smaller version of Adessa, but it's hard when the 16+ pound version is so all-consuming. She's almost sitting, can balance on her own for a few seconds at a time if her legs are out in front of her at just the right angles. She has not tired of staring at her hands, holding them out as if they were fabulous treasures she needs to inspect. She found her toes a few times, and they seem to be neato, as well. There is a whole new level of interaction because she has more control of her hands. She babbles to us while holding our chins with one mini-hand, reaches for toys, bats at toys, eats napkins, crinkles paper, etc. She lets us know her more sophisticated needs, now, so there's a bit more crying in our house. Also some whispering. I held her hands on her chest and whispered sweet nothings to her at bedtime the other day, and I promise you, she whispered back. It was the baby babble equivalent of whispering, out from behind her pacifier: shhheeehshuuushhaaaa. Really cute.

Halloween was spent with much spirit and revelry! We went to little Sadie's Halloween Party with Adessa as the Cupcake Fairy. (She probably wondered if this was the first of many humiliating homemade costumes she's going to be subjected to. Probably is.) (The Cupcake Fairy, for those who don't know, is the little sprite who leaves money under your pillow whenever you loose your cupcake. Yep.) And on Halloween itself she promenaded downtown Santa Cruz as a darling sweet pea in a pod. (Or Edamamie, for those who appreciate Japanese cuisine.) She's a trooper. It's fun to take her places, she likes riding in the car (for reasonable time periods) and is taking in all the new stimulus and activity like a pro. She rocks!

Pumpkin Time

Now she's growing gang-busters. I guess I should stop writing stuff like that since she's only going to grow more and do more exciting things. But really, everyday there's something new. I can practically see the little cogs in her mind gearing up: hmmm, these chubby pink things on the end of my arms must be mine. They wiggle and wave around in front of me, I can suck on them, scratch at my crib, hold on to toys, pat my mom, and even yank her hair. She's begun lolling around on the ground, stretching for toys and learning how to maneuver herself. And lots more to look forward to!

Adessa and I went with a local mothers group to a pumpkin patch up the coast. The other babies were older, and they climbed all over the pumpkins and crawled all over the patch. Adessa simply reclined and posed for photos, a queen sprawled against her squashy throne. Adorable. The holidays are going to be so much more fun with a kid around.

I had another difficult day of Adessa coming with me to school. She's getting to the age where she is noticing everything and easily overstimulated, which made it really hard for her to fall asleep. Which made her very fussy. Which made me sad. Especially because three days of childcare with three different people (the grandmas can only do one day each) doesn't seem like a stable, consistant care situation that I would like. So we'll see.