20 Minutes A Day

Adessa and Elijah playing dress up.


Egg on my face... how embarrassing.


Wild and crazy cutie.


With Auntie Lolo somewhere in the East Bay. We had a lovely visit to see her new place and hang out.


Sooooo... I was listening to the radio the other day and there was a zen buddhist monk on, sometimes called the Happiest Man in the World. He felt sheepish about the title, (he said cheerfully,) but the name was given to him because of his writing on how to be happy. Well. He just nonchalantly asked his interviewer, and thereby us listeners, to wonder what would happen if everyone in the world spent 20 minutes a day trying to be better, more compassionate people. The whole world would profit. My girls would profit. My husband would profit. People who know me might get a little of the trickle down effect.

Somehow, I'm still not sure how it happened, this exhortation got to me. Devotions, quiet times, prayer rule, what have you, have always been a bit of a chore for me. They seem to be the first thing to go if a day is busy (or a week is busy, or a decade, you know.) But! The wording and the simplicity of what this Happy Man Monk was saying... seems so basic and do able, and it's changed my week. Hopefully its changing my life, but it has definitely changed my week. Instead of bouncing Eliana to sleep and chanting: "Go to sleep" in my head, I'm bouncing her and praying. There's plenty to pray about, and plenty of time when you're a mom to do it. Like when I'm waiting for Adessa, who's suddenly decided to start a puzzle when we're heading out the door. That's a good time to ask for more patience. And for more creativity. And less anger, and more love.

I feel better! I want to love my girls and my family so well, in just the right and helpful ways for them. I have proven in these two years of parenting, that I need supernatural help to do so. I want to be better, less disappointed, less judgemental, more compassionate. Where previous words describing meditation time failed to inspire me, ("meditation" didn't work very well in my head, either) the 20 minute idea just sidles into my life naturally and holistically without feeling chore-ish or dutiful. It is a joy instead. Yay!

And my girls are great! Eliana is a sweet, chubby, smiley, warm, dulcet dollop of goodness. She smiles and flaps her arms and blows bubbles and beams and rolls over and over and sits playing intently with toys, and chews on everything and lights up when she sees Adessa or us. She's pretty easy going and happy and its so lovely to be around her sweetness.

Adessa is fun and funny, saying all kinds of surprising things. The other day I asked her to do something and she said: "No possible way." which is from her Berenstain Bears book. Also from the BBears was her oft-repeated quote over the course of a week: "You've got moxie, spunk, nerve." She's still working on keeping her undies dry everyday, but overall is pretty potty trained. She doesn't like help to do anything she thinks she can do on her own, so went for hours the other day with her dress unzipped in the back. If she couldn't do it herself, no one was going to do it. She is wonderful with Eliana, will sing to her and dance for her and try to placate her if she's crying. Adessa sings songs in a nasal voice we've noticed before in little girls. Why do they think that's how to sing? She talks on her play phone and has realistic sounding conversations with Grandpa or Daddy or Gwennie, mostly with a lot of filler words: "Uh-huh, Okay, and after later, because, whoopsie daysie, uh-oh, I love you, bye." She does all of this chatting in a VERY loud voice, because apparently her plastic phone gets terrible reception. 8)