20 Minutes A Day

Adessa and Elijah playing dress up.


Egg on my face... how embarrassing.


Wild and crazy cutie.


With Auntie Lolo somewhere in the East Bay. We had a lovely visit to see her new place and hang out.


Sooooo... I was listening to the radio the other day and there was a zen buddhist monk on, sometimes called the Happiest Man in the World. He felt sheepish about the title, (he said cheerfully,) but the name was given to him because of his writing on how to be happy. Well. He just nonchalantly asked his interviewer, and thereby us listeners, to wonder what would happen if everyone in the world spent 20 minutes a day trying to be better, more compassionate people. The whole world would profit. My girls would profit. My husband would profit. People who know me might get a little of the trickle down effect.

Somehow, I'm still not sure how it happened, this exhortation got to me. Devotions, quiet times, prayer rule, what have you, have always been a bit of a chore for me. They seem to be the first thing to go if a day is busy (or a week is busy, or a decade, you know.) But! The wording and the simplicity of what this Happy Man Monk was saying... seems so basic and do able, and it's changed my week. Hopefully its changing my life, but it has definitely changed my week. Instead of bouncing Eliana to sleep and chanting: "Go to sleep" in my head, I'm bouncing her and praying. There's plenty to pray about, and plenty of time when you're a mom to do it. Like when I'm waiting for Adessa, who's suddenly decided to start a puzzle when we're heading out the door. That's a good time to ask for more patience. And for more creativity. And less anger, and more love.

I feel better! I want to love my girls and my family so well, in just the right and helpful ways for them. I have proven in these two years of parenting, that I need supernatural help to do so. I want to be better, less disappointed, less judgemental, more compassionate. Where previous words describing meditation time failed to inspire me, ("meditation" didn't work very well in my head, either) the 20 minute idea just sidles into my life naturally and holistically without feeling chore-ish or dutiful. It is a joy instead. Yay!

And my girls are great! Eliana is a sweet, chubby, smiley, warm, dulcet dollop of goodness. She smiles and flaps her arms and blows bubbles and beams and rolls over and over and sits playing intently with toys, and chews on everything and lights up when she sees Adessa or us. She's pretty easy going and happy and its so lovely to be around her sweetness.

Adessa is fun and funny, saying all kinds of surprising things. The other day I asked her to do something and she said: "No possible way." which is from her Berenstain Bears book. Also from the BBears was her oft-repeated quote over the course of a week: "You've got moxie, spunk, nerve." She's still working on keeping her undies dry everyday, but overall is pretty potty trained. She doesn't like help to do anything she thinks she can do on her own, so went for hours the other day with her dress unzipped in the back. If she couldn't do it herself, no one was going to do it. She is wonderful with Eliana, will sing to her and dance for her and try to placate her if she's crying. Adessa sings songs in a nasal voice we've noticed before in little girls. Why do they think that's how to sing? She talks on her play phone and has realistic sounding conversations with Grandpa or Daddy or Gwennie, mostly with a lot of filler words: "Uh-huh, Okay, and after later, because, whoopsie daysie, uh-oh, I love you, bye." She does all of this chatting in a VERY loud voice, because apparently her plastic phone gets terrible reception. 8)

Mug Shots and More

Yep, she's guilty!

Maybe just of being super darn cute and of chewing on Adessa's marked up balloon. Whoops. Eliana is 6 months old and doing tricks! She turns over, eats solids, blows and spits, and sits up. She first sat up while Calvin was watching her, so when I got all excited when I saw her sitting up by herself, Calvin's response was: "Yeah, she's been doing that."

First solid food, with Adessa's help.


Her first of many sis-y-rides.


At a recent wedding, lots of female family-ness.


Getting ready to sit unassisted.


Our little couch squashes.

Recent Excitement and Halloween Hoopla

Carving pumpkins with Grandpa on patio.

Carving pumpkins with buddies in the basement. Us:

The buddies:


An cheery good morning from Daddy and Eliana.


A family walk on West Cliff. Lovely day.


The perils of sitting with Mommy while she eats. Whoops! She wears it well.


Halloween was tremendous. For an exciting excursion, Adessa and I went to visit Sleeping Beauty at her castle, which was our friends' transformed home in San Jose. Wow! Lots of college friends attended, so it was a mini-reunion for me, too. Super amazing fun, just look:

The girls in costume (The Princess and The Pea) pre-party, back at the ranch.

Here, the princess IS a pea. We then left her with Grandma and Grandpa to hand out treats.


Playing with Legos at the Schertle's, our home base for the night.

The amazing castle.

Our amazing hosts and castle creators, Eric and Michelle!

Butterfly Gerilyn met us in the middle for the fun.

Here come Holidays!!!

I'm so excited about the holidays coming. We have been talking about all the fun days and events coming up, all the way to Easter which Adessa remembers for the bunnies and chocolate. We kicked off the seasons with a family trip to the Pumpkin Patch.

And we're doing good! The dark cloud of tantrums has lifted, at least for the moment. 8) Adessa potty trained relatively easily, whe-heeeweee! So now, even when I'm irritated with her attitude, I get so happy with her when she does her business in the potty. Yay! We see her differently now, she seems older with big-girl undies and diaper free. Eliana is doing great, too-- yay for a time of being juuuuust fine.

Click on this one so you can see it enlarged. Eliana's in there!






See HERE for Adessa's Pumpkin picture.

And here is Eliana's:

Strawberries 'n Cheese

Lesson learned: Don't leave burrito fixings out on the counter.


Our first big storm blew through, and those with boots had a great time splashing.

At the time of this photo, Adessa's boots were both filled to the brim with water.


Auntie Lolo and Grandma Ruth gazing across the couch at Eliana and Adessa. I thought they were all going to look at me, but there was a bit of a stare down.

This Two Shall Pass

A family friend was trying to help me out the other day and comforted me with the age-old wisdom: This, too, shall pass. But I heard it with new ears, like the post title, and it was very comforting, indeed. Adessa is two, yes, and three might be bad, too, as it is for some kids. However, I must keep the faith that it will pass. She will one day possibly listen to and follow my directions without a knee-jerk "no". She will stop throwing things on the ground when she's mad, like food, silverware, or even imaginary balls (those don't bother me so much.) I am comforting myself with the following: It will pass.

Thus far, her head hasn't spun and we are free of brimstone. 8)


Adessa loves to dance and sing, and is on a months long "beautiful gown" streak. Some mornings it looks like we live with a teenager, there are dresses strewn across all surfaces as she tries on gown after gown. It might help if I knew what it was she was looking for on a particular day, but there seems to be no pattern governing her dress selection process. It's almost worth it when she finds the right one, though, as she is instantly happy. She spreads her arms out Julie Andrews' style to sing and dance, benevolent once more.

There's that smile, with freshly brushed teeth.


Eliana turned five months old on October 5th. She has found her hands, and her hands find... everything. She has started "bothering" Adessa in the double stroller, trying to reach and grab whatever she can of Adessa. She likes toys, gnawing on toys, flapping her arms to the Bach from her crib mobile, has rolled over a few times, sits up in the Bumbo and Boppy, enjoys peek-a-boo, and is soft, chubby, and sweet. She startles easliy, we scare her all the time just coming into the room or coughing suddenly when holding her. She doesn't like to be held by many other people, but she does like other people to smile at her when she's in mom or dad's arms. People keep asking if Eliana has a distinctly different personality than Adessa at this age, and... it doesn't seem much different. I can't really call up much of Adessa at this age when I try, my impression of her was she was soft, chubby, and sweet, too.

Five Months Old!


Hey, Look! Toys!


Awwwwww.

Truth in Bloggertizing

Our story today begins with a Harvest field trip with my mom and my moms (group.) We drove out to a mountain farm and were treated to a corn harvest demonstration, a chance to feed farm animals and pick corn, a wagon ride, and a time to pick-your-own-pumpkin. Here are the photos from our event:

The wagon ride:


The corn picking with Elijah and Jayden:


The pumpkin selection process, involving contemplation and a squat:


Victorious! A sweet specimen!


However, what I'm realizing about blogging is, you just can't believe what you see. It looks like we had a great time. And we did, overall. But what the pictures don't show you is how hot, dirty, and uncomfortable we were. Maybe you can tell from the picture of me that I am considerably sleep deprived? The pictures don't show you how stressed out I was about getting there since I was sort of the ring-leader for my friends. We left our house too late, there was road-work, and then we were stuck behind the slowest mom in the universe who happened to be going to the same place and didn't ever waver in her determination to slow down at each intersection (obviously unfamiliar with the area) but never ever pull over to let me by. The photos don't show how impatient I was to leave, afterwards and get to a STAFF MEETING on my day off, a whole other story, or that I bribed Adessa with a peppermint candy to get her into the car. I have no pictures to show of her choking! on her candy and barfing it up with the rest of her stomach contents all over her carseat. Whoops. Normally I wouldn't include all that in the blog, but lately, I think I need to be more realistic in my blogging. It wasn't this event, per se, that was so terrible with such cute pictures, it just got me thinking.

As I've read about friends' lives on the internet lately, a new feeling has crept into my awareness, and it is... jealousy!? I have so much to be thankful for, etc. yada yada, of course I know so well the blessings I enjoy and take for granted, but when reading blogs and facebook recently I've finally pinpointed the feeling, and it's definitely envy. I think I'm feeling my admiration for the lives of others lean towards jealousy because 1. I am a flawed being and have a host of issues that need attention, and 2. because online we present ourselves without the negative or unglamorous or impatient-mom parts of our stories. It's not that we're purposely trying to omit the less wonderful parts of our lives, its just that we think no one really wants to read about it. It is easy to give highlights only, to focus and report on the exciting and amazing. Animal shows are similar, they're mostly about hunting, eating, and mating, even though that's a tiny percentage of an animals life. I am probably not alone in my mismanagement of my children, I just feel like I am because the worlds I get to peek into (as the world I've presented) don't include anything less than sunny. So, I hereby commit to tell the whole story, give the whole picture, and to learn something along the way. I also have decided that I don't have to stay off the internet to get rid of my envious bent, I just need to understand that probably everyone isn't always having so much fun as their blog or facebook profile would let on, or such domestic bliss, or intense and wonderful occurrences all the time.

I did get a picture of the mundane this time: here are the girls, stuck in road-work traffic on the way to the farm.


Is anyone still reading this? Way to go if you are, I know I get wordy.

Suffice it to say, there have been some terrible moments lately. Moments where I really doubt my parenting and wonder why on earth people have so many kids, and how can so many people seem unscathed by their child-rearing experiences. I wonder if I'm making it too hard on myself, as no one else seems to be having this much of a struggle. Calvin is getting to experience some of the parenting obstacle course, too, as he does childcare while I'm at work, but most of my struggle is during the long days when he's gone. That 6 o'clock hour, I tell you, it's a killer! Eliana is coming to life--she is so sweet and charming--but in the back of my mind I hesitate to enjoy it because I'm thinking: "You're going to be two some day. This only gets harder." For every 50 really stinky, wretched moments in a day, there are at least 51 amazing, breath-catching moments, too. And some days are better than others. I just re-read some Dr. Sears on discipline, so today I was very understanding and patient, and let my higher self deal with Adessa.

For the record: Both of my girls are so incredibly precious, and I AM so thankful for what I have, they are just what I wanted. And what would I possibly do with domestic bliss?