Happy Halloween, now it's almost Thanksgiving?

The first few weeks with Adessa seemed to go by pretty slowly, actually. We were present, right there in each and every moment, marveling, and it seemed to take... a few weeks. And we continue to marvel at her, but darn! does the time fly by! She turned five months old yesterday. Wait! Am I getting this? I try to quiz myself and see if I remember the smaller version of Adessa, but it's hard when the 16+ pound version is so all-consuming. She's almost sitting, can balance on her own for a few seconds at a time if her legs are out in front of her at just the right angles. She has not tired of staring at her hands, holding them out as if they were fabulous treasures she needs to inspect. She found her toes a few times, and they seem to be neato, as well. There is a whole new level of interaction because she has more control of her hands. She babbles to us while holding our chins with one mini-hand, reaches for toys, bats at toys, eats napkins, crinkles paper, etc. She lets us know her more sophisticated needs, now, so there's a bit more crying in our house. Also some whispering. I held her hands on her chest and whispered sweet nothings to her at bedtime the other day, and I promise you, she whispered back. It was the baby babble equivalent of whispering, out from behind her pacifier: shhheeehshuuushhaaaa. Really cute.

Halloween was spent with much spirit and revelry! We went to little Sadie's Halloween Party with Adessa as the Cupcake Fairy. (She probably wondered if this was the first of many humiliating homemade costumes she's going to be subjected to. Probably is.) (The Cupcake Fairy, for those who don't know, is the little sprite who leaves money under your pillow whenever you loose your cupcake. Yep.) And on Halloween itself she promenaded downtown Santa Cruz as a darling sweet pea in a pod. (Or Edamamie, for those who appreciate Japanese cuisine.) She's a trooper. It's fun to take her places, she likes riding in the car (for reasonable time periods) and is taking in all the new stimulus and activity like a pro. She rocks!

Pumpkin Time

Now she's growing gang-busters. I guess I should stop writing stuff like that since she's only going to grow more and do more exciting things. But really, everyday there's something new. I can practically see the little cogs in her mind gearing up: hmmm, these chubby pink things on the end of my arms must be mine. They wiggle and wave around in front of me, I can suck on them, scratch at my crib, hold on to toys, pat my mom, and even yank her hair. She's begun lolling around on the ground, stretching for toys and learning how to maneuver herself. And lots more to look forward to!

Adessa and I went with a local mothers group to a pumpkin patch up the coast. The other babies were older, and they climbed all over the pumpkins and crawled all over the patch. Adessa simply reclined and posed for photos, a queen sprawled against her squashy throne. Adorable. The holidays are going to be so much more fun with a kid around.

I had another difficult day of Adessa coming with me to school. She's getting to the age where she is noticing everything and easily overstimulated, which made it really hard for her to fall asleep. Which made her very fussy. Which made me sad. Especially because three days of childcare with three different people (the grandmas can only do one day each) doesn't seem like a stable, consistant care situation that I would like. So we'll see.

New Tricks

Did you blink? Now she's four months old!
Adessa is wriggling and squiggling all over the place. She's rolled over both from front to back and from back to front, (on accident, but it still counts) and has become hard to change at diaper time. She used to fall right asleep when she was tired, but now she wants to see and touch everything around her. Sheets, crib-sides, her pacifier are all interesting enough to distract her. She has found her fists and is interested in toys. She's trying hard to make trumpeting noises, and knows I like encouraging her in this endeavor, so when she catches my eye she'll start pursing her lips and trying. Many happy spit bubbles later, we laugh and cheer. Very endearing. She's delightful!!

I am adjusting to the working mom thing! It's going to be fine! Adessa has people who love her taking care of her every minute of every day. And I am okay with it. I do relish my days off with her, though, 60% of a real job was a good idea.

Sweet Baby Goes To School...

...and mama gets nothing done. Well, that was the first Monday I took her, September 17th. I think I made a few copies, returned a phone call and made references to the work I wasn't getting done. Discouraged, I went home and called Grandma Beck who rescued me the rest of my working days that week. This week I tried again to bring her with me on Monday (the 24th) and it went much better. I attribute the improvement to the fact that I brought a swing for her. That, and the fact that I did most of the work I needed to do over the weekend so everything was ready to go when I got there. It looks like the three days of my work week will be broken up into: one day with me, one day with the Lewis grandparents, and one day with the Beck grandparents. I am so lucky to have them close by and willing to help.

Working certainly makes me appreciate Adessa-- I hate to leave her in the mornings, and I love to squeeze her when I get home. I also realize why stay-at-home-momming is such a good idea: no breast-pump, no interrupted nap times, no added other thing I should be doing. Maybe someday I'll be able to stay home--but until then, this set-up should work out fine.

Adessa is doing great. She's had her first cold, which is hard to watch. She has begun talking up a storm and bringing everything she can grasp into her mouth. It seems she makes changes daily. Sweet is the adjective that still comes bubbling up to describe her. She'll interrupt herself while nursing to smile up at me. She'll talk and coo to herself for a bit, and then get louder until I look at her. Then she'll smile. Sweet!

Three Months of Adessa

This week Adessa turned three months old. What a lovely time we're having, too, as the pictures will show. She is adorable and sweet like always, with bonuses of interaction and development that are so incredibly amazing to watch and be a part of. She can be coaxed into a smile almost anytime now, sometimes in the middle of a crying jag at her tiredest. She holds her head up strong, doesn't mind "tummy time" too much, and has started slobbering on anything that finds its way into her mouth, sometimes her hand, sometimes her shirt. The biggest adjustment for me has been that most of my functioning brain is now devoted to baby details, leaving the meager remainder of my cerebral power to deal with whatever it was that used to occupy me full-time.

Tomorrow is her first day of school, or at least of coming to school with me. The first three weeks I was back at work, Calvin took vacation days to watch her so I could get everything going. Thank goodness he did, too. I set up my homeschoolers and English Language Development class, and am ready to have a baby accompany me through my days. Am I ready? This has actually caused a bit of anxiety. I am fearful I won't do either thing well, teaching or mothering, with Adessa at school with me. We'll see. Both grandmas have made themselves available to help out and will watch her when I'm actually teaching, which is great. And I have to keep reminding myself that I'm only working three days a week. I'll keep you posted.

Yummy

Last night I was holding Adessa after feeding her, right before bed. She was dozzing, and I rocked her and kissed her and nuzzled her, and it made me feel two things so strongly- 1. overwhelmed with love for her bitsy, soft, baby-ness, and amazed that I get to love her from so close; and 2. desirous of kalamata olives, maybe with some chopped cucumber, tomato, and red onion. That's because our Adessa is a feta-factory. She industriously produces what smells like feta cheese, with nothing more than breastmilk, and within the confines of her very own tiny crevices and crannies (neck, armpit, ears, hands, etc.) Premium cheese. (They do very expensive things with bat guano, maybe someone should look into the market for breastmilk cheese?) I took her to the doctor for her 2-month well-baby check, and he told me, very helpfullly, after looking at her neck: "You know you can clean this out?" Yes, thank you. Note to self: bathe baby before next doctor's visit. He's not such a fan of Greek salad, apparently. OPA!

She's two months old (officially, now,) (and nine weeks). She's awake and aware more often, and I've a feeling that I could really do something wrong, now, as a parent. She always is looking at me, watching me, sometimes it creeps me out. Does she need more stimulation? Less? Is it okay that she likes her baby swing? Is her head going to be flattened? I think it's the beginning of normal mommy guilt, but again, new territory for me.

She smiles, she tracks toys, she's found her fists. She'll stick her tiny tounge out if I stick mine out. We know so little about her, really. What her hair color will end up being, will she ever outgrow her mullet? Eye color, talents, interests, good singing voice or not, good teeth-- it's all to be revealed.
She's the strong, silent type, so far, mystery is part of her allure. Parents are like undercover cops, I think, trying to bait their kids into giving something away, detectives on an 18 year stake-out. Waiting is most of our job at this point, with plenty of photodocumentation for analysis back at the lab.

Eight weeks old!

Adessa will be eight weeks old tomorrow (Tuesday, August 7th). Oddly, she won't be two months old until August 12, but who's counting? (Me, over and over, and I'm confused about how old she is.) At any rate, she's growning and developing and cooing and SMILING!! That's a lot of fun -- she will be coaxed into a smile by our energetic and overanimated smiling and baby talking sessions, or sometimes I'll catch her smiling at me when I happen to glance over at her. Totally melts my heart. I've loved our girl from the beginning, but lately have had the sensation of falling in love. This relationship is a process, and it is soooo cool to be a part of. We definitely decided right, having a kid is great. And yes, I can already imagine the next one (couldn't during labor, but now I already miss her first few weeks.) I keep thinking about moms and daughters, parents and children, how the potential is there for joy and also pain. Yikes.

We've seen lots of family and friends this summer who vacation in the Santa Cruz area. Calvin's family reuned (reunioned? reunited?) in Mt. Hermon for the past two weeks, so Adessa met lots of her cousins, second cousins, aunts and uncles. She did a great job being passed around- she was more relaxed about it than I was. The "mother-bear" imagery is making a lot of sense to me now, new emotions that come with the territory.

I've started taking Adessa to mommy groups in Santa Cruz run by nurses and lactation specialists. Its been fun to field the challenges of baby care with other new moms and trained professionals. Best, though, are my friend Sarah with her six month old, Sadie, and my cousin Annabelle and her five month old, Henry. They are full of helpful hints and encouragement and baby playtime fun. Annabelle and Henry came with us to the Mt. Hermon pool for Adessa and Henry's first dip. It was a little overwhelming, very bright, loud and splashy, and Adessa... didn't like it. Darn. She didn't like her first bath, though, and now enjoys them, so there's hope.

Calvin misses Adessa during the day now that he's back at work, and swears she grows and changes from morning to night. It has to be possible, as she is different every day. Quite a journey!